Ten Years Later: Where Some of My Questions About Suicide Began

  Incredibly, ten years have passed, and during that time I haven’t written openly about where my curiosity and need to understand suicide really began. I am still not entirely…

Complex relational trauma and relationships

The word trauma is everywhere these days. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing. We have become much better at recognising that experiences don’t simply disappear because they happened a long…

Returning to the Page: Creativity, Structure and My Writing Journey

When I first launched this blog, it was with two simple aims: to reignite a creative passion, and to develop a writing rhythm — all in pursuit of one long-held…

and how does that make you feel book review

How Does That Make Me Feel? A (qualified) Psychotherapist Reacts to Joshua Fletcher

  When I picked up this book, I expected a playful, tongue-in-cheek take on therapy. After all, as psychotherapists, we’re familiar with lines like: “Nothing can make you feel anything…

Maternal Instincts blog post alert on Southdowns Psychotherapy

Maternal Instincts Don’t Fit Into a Spreadsheet

When Something Just Doesn’t Feel Right There are moments in mothering – often small, subtle ones – when something rises up in me with a quiet but unmistakable clarity. A…

Is Time Really a Healer?

Pop Culture and Loss I recently finished the Netflix series One Day. (Spoiler alert—if you haven’t seen it yet, you might want to pause here and come back once you…

The Therapists Use of Self in Psychotherapy

Beyond the Blank Slate – Reconsidering neutrality in relational psychotherapy In the quiet, unfolding space of the therapy room, we are often taught to be the steady presence – the…

Finding Hope

Why Hope Matters on Difficult Days This morning the Happiful magazine newsletter landed in my inbox and the title of the newsletter was “It’s OK to look for hope”. It…

What is Mature Love?

Creating Meaningful Connections Mature love, what is it? I’m not talking about being 80 years old and holding hands on a walk through the park here. I am talking about…

What Do We Mean by ‘The Self’ in Psychotherapy?

Understanding the Concept of the Self The concept of “the self” is central to psychotherapy, yet it can feel elusive and abstract. As therapists, we often talk about self-awareness, self-development,…

In a Relationship with Someone with BPD?

Being in a relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be emotionally intense and, at times, confusing. You may experience moments of deep connection, only to be…

New Year, Fresh Start: How Reflection Fuels Personal Growth

As the New Year begins, many of us feel a renewed sense of purpose, setting resolutions that reflect our hopes for personal growth and change. While it’s true that committing…

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