Category: Self-Help

The Value of Downtime

Posted on by Alana Burton

In our fast-paced world, where productivity and constant connectivity are often celebrated, the concept of downtime can feel counterintuitive or even indulgent. However, taking time to rest and recharge is not only beneficial but essential for our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. In my practice I often encounter clients who struggle with the notion of slowing down, fearing they might fall behind or miss out. Yet, the value of downtime cannot be overstated.

Having come to the end of another academic year, downtime in the summer holidays as a parent is an intriguing concept at best. How is it possible to incorporate downtime during those weeks when we feel like we have even more to do with children also around? Routines are up-ended in the summer holidays, children are doing different things at different times and the work-downtime balance is really thrown. Then, just as we think we’ve succeeded in juggling the work-downtime balancing act, they go back to school and we’re thrown into something different again.

Having recently spent a few nights alone in the beauty of the New Forest surrounded by free-roaming ponies, donkeys and cows, I am speaking from a place of just reconnecting with my own downtime. I really do believe there is so much to gain from scheduling in that bit of ‘me time’ on a regular basis.

So how can we recharge our batteries, reconnect with ourselves, and appreciate that in these modern times, we lead busier lives than ever?

The Importance of Recharging

Mental Health Benefits

Downtime allows our minds to rest. Just as our bodies need sleep to function optimally, our brains require periods of rest to process information, consolidate memories, and rejuvenate. Chronic stress and continuous engagement can lead to burnout, anxiety, and depression. By scheduling regular breaks and downtime, we give our brains a chance to recover and maintain mental health.

Emotional Balance

Constant busyness can prevent us from addressing our emotional needs. Downtime provides an opportunity to process feelings and experiences that may have been pushed aside during hectic periods. It can help us gain perspective, understand our emotions better, and foster emotional resilience.

Physical Health

Our bodies benefit significantly from downtime. Chronic stress can lead to various health issues, including high blood pressure, heart disease, and weakened immune function. Taking time to rest and relax helps reduce stress levels, promotes better sleep, and supports overall physical health.

Reconnecting with Ourselves

Self-Reflection

Downtime offers a unique opportunity for self-reflection. When we step away from our busy schedules, we can take a closer look at our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. This self-awareness is crucial for personal growth and can lead to positive changes in our lives.

Rediscovering Passions

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to lose touch with activities and hobbies that bring us joy. Downtime allows us to reconnect with these passions, whether it’s reading, painting, gardening, or simply spending time in nature. Engaging in activities we love can boost our mood and provide a sense of fulfillment.

Strengthening Relationships

Quality time with loved ones often takes a backseat when we’re constantly on the go. Downtime provides an opportunity to nurture our relationships, whether it’s having a meaningful conversation with a friend, enjoying a family dinner, or simply being present with our partner. Strong relationships are a cornerstone of emotional well-being.

Appreciating Our Busy Lives

Perspective and Gratitude

Taking a break from our routines can help us gain a fresh perspective on our lives. It allows us to step back and appreciate the efforts we put into our work, relationships, and personal growth. This sense of gratitude can enhance our overall happiness and satisfaction.

Enhancing Productivity

Ironically, taking regular breaks can make us more productive. When we allow ourselves to rest and recharge, we return to our tasks with renewed energy and focus. This can lead to higher quality work and more efficient use of time.

Preventing Burnout

Burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. It can lead to decreased productivity, feelings of detachment, and even serious health issues. By incorporating downtime into our lives, we can do better at avoiding burnout and maintain a healthier balance between work and rest.

Practical Tips for Incorporating Downtime

Schedule Regular Breaks

Set aside specific times in your day for short breaks. Whether it’s a 10-minute walk, a coffee break, or a quick meditation session, these moments of rest can make a significant difference.

Unplug from Technology

Take regular breaks from screens and digital devices. Engage in activities that don’t involve technology, such as reading a book, taking a walk, or practicing mindfulness.

Prioritise Sleep

Ensure you get enough sleep each night. Good quality sleep is essential for mental and physical health, and it significantly contributes to our ability to recharge and function optimally. If you need any inspiration at all, read Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker. I learned so much from this book about the importance of sleep so it is a solid recommendation!

Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

Incorporate mindfulness practices, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga, into your routine. These techniques can help reduce stress and promote relaxation.

Engage in Physical Activity

Regular physical activity is a great way to recharge and reduce stress. Find an exercise routine that you enjoy. Do you enjoy a walk or perhaps a bit of swimming? Maybe it’s a regular boogie in the kitchen (don’t knock the kitchen disco) or maybe football or tennis is your thing.

Spend Time in Nature

Nature has a calming effect on our minds and bodies. Spend time outdoors, whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the woods, or simply sitting in your garden. Nature can help us feel more grounded and connected. Go camping in a place with bad reception. After the initial couple of minutes mild panic about how you could possibly live without being constantly ‘connected’, you’ll be amazed at what a relief it actually is….

So what next?

The value of downtime is immense. It allows us to recharge our batteries, reconnect with ourselves, and appreciate the busy lives we lead. By prioritising rest and relaxation, we can maintain better mental, emotional, and physical health. As we navigate our hectic world, let’s remember the importance of slowing down and giving ourselves the gift of downtime. If you want to avoid burnout, reconnect with those forgotten but valued parts of your self and increase self-awareness you can also get in touch to find out more about therapy sessions.

Improve Your Mental Strength

Posted on by Alana Burton

Ever wondered why some people seem to bounce back effortlessly from life’s curveballs while others struggle to regain their footing? The secret lies in mental strength – that intangible power to recover from adversity, rise above setbacks, and embrace challenges head-on.

What is Mental Strength?

Mental strength, or mental resilience is the emotional ability of being able to recover from adversity.

  • Mentally resilient people often transcend hard times despite seemingly impossible setbacks.
  • Mental resilience is correlated with emotional maturity and the ability to see reality clearly.
  • Mental resilience is negatively correlated with psychopathology and emotional immaturity.

Promoting Mental Strength

Just like sculpting those biceps at the gym, mental strength demands discipline, commitment, and time.  Let’s take look at the habits of mentally strong people:

1. They Don’t Compare Themselves With Others Scrolling through social media can trigger the comparison game, but mentally strong people know that every moment spent comparing is a moment lost on personal growth. External opinions don’t define them. Mentally strong people build their self-belief, immune to criticism or rejection.

2. They Don’t Strive for Perfection Perfectionism, the sneaky stress inducer, is a no-go zone. Set high standards, but don’t let the pursuit of perfection impair your performance because just like Father Christmas, it doesn’t exist.

3. They Embrace Vulnerability Game faces have their time and place, but mentally strong people recognise that asking for help and showing vulnerability are signs of strength, not weakness.

4. They Don’t Let Self-Doubt Stop Them Your brain might whisper doubts, but mentally strong women don’t let self-doubt be the roadblock to their goals. They know the brain tends to underestimate their capabilities.

5. Ditch Rumination Ruminating over every detail is a mental energy drain. Instead, focus on problem-solving and productive action, freeing up your mind for what truly matters.

6. Putting the Big Girl Pants On Avoiding challenges keeps you stuck. Mentally strong people face fears head-on, one step at a time, building confidence along the way. Whether someone told you that you’d never amount to anything, or you got turned down for a promotion, other people can limit your potential if you let them. Your brain might sometimes try to convince you that you’re not good enough, capable enough, or smart enough. But don’t believe everything you think. Your brain will underestimate you. Build belief in yourself, and you won’t let criticism or rejection stop you.

7. Find The Strength Within Strong people find ways to pull on inner strength to build themselves up. They have no need to pull others down in order to achieve this. Genuine cheerleading is the true path to success. Putting others down is a short-lived boost; uplifting others creates a lasting impact.

8. Take Responsibility For yourself. Accepting responsibility is crucial, but toxic self-blame hinders progress. Learn from mistakes and grow, without labelling yourself negatively. While it’s important to accept personal responsibility when you make a mistake, toxic self-blame does more harm than good so it’s also wise to avoid it. Saying “I made a bad choice” is much more productive than thinking “I am a bad person.”

9. Sing Your Own Praises No need to downplay achievements. Mentally strong people gracefully accept compliments, owning their success without fear of appearing arrogant.

 

Image by gibbysocks from Pixabay

Dopamining – Chasing the High

Posted on by Alana Burton

What is Dopamine?

Dopamine is one of the brain’s “feel good” neurotransmitters. It induces feelings of excitement, motivation, aliveness and gratification. When we engage in certain behaviours, dopamine is released from where it is produced in the brain and enters our bloodstream to give us a feeling of satisfaction and reward.

Why Do We Need It?

From an evolutionary perspective, a release of dopamine is what incentivises us to do the things that are good for our survival, like eating, drinking and reproducing. Human beings are hard-wired to be reward-seeking and a healthy level of dopamine makes us feel happy, focused, alert and motivated.

‘Dopamining’

It may be a word right out of an urban dictionary, but the concept of “dopamining” is being increasingly used to describe the thrill of doing things that lead to a release of dopamine.

So Is Dopamine Addictive?

Dopamine itself is not addictive, but the feeling we get when we experience a flood of dopamine lights up the reward centres of the brain and compels us to want it more. The strong memory of the pleasure we felt as a result of a dopamine release is what we are focusing on and what we continue to seek.

Excessive repeated releases of dopamine can also over-stimulate our brain. In small doses this isn’t unhealthy, but arguably, some of the reward-seeking behaviours are what can be define as unhealthy and this is where things get complex.

Our iPhones for example, are like mini dopamine factories – pumping out little highs with each pick up. Modern phones have been designed with reward-seeking behaviour in mind and you just have to watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix to understand the magnitude of the problem. While it is not the phone itself that is addictive, the plethora of social media sites and apps is what has given us a positively endless supply of social stimuli in the thumbs up, likes, happy faces or messages that we receive. And, it’s not just the positive reactions we seek, it may be the negative reactions too. It can rapidly become a case of posting anything, even posting those things we know are just ideal to set us up for an online roasting because all we’re after is a response. Neuroscientists have shown that these positive and negative social stimuli activate the same neural reward pathways in the brain as a hit of cocaine would give us.

Being ‘addicted to your phone’ is just one example of how this can work. Other activities such as playing video games, drinking alcohol or infidelity can all behaviours that are based on this same reward system.

Where It Can Go Wrong

Regularly chasing a dopamine high off the back of an unhealthy behaviour can have serious implications for many areas of our life. Studies have shown there is a link between dopamine and compulsive behaviours and at an extreme level, continued and excessive dopamine hits can result in damage to the brain. Brain pathways are altered and the brain gets used to a new level of dopamine tolerance meaning that we are less sensitive to its impact. As we no longer get the same high, we may be compelled to seek increasingly unhealthy behaviours to achieve the same feeling. In the instance of alcohol use, this may look like drinking more and more. Even low dose alcohol is known to increase the release of dopamine.

In the case of infidelity, the brain’s self-control centre short-circuits and you may someone escalate from emotionally cheating to repeated infidelities or even engaging in risky sexual deviances. The thrill of the chase can be so intense it can sometimes look like a sex addiction (but that’s another blog post altogether). It’s not the sex that someone is addicted to though, it’s the dopamine release they are seeking and the sexual activity, or the chase at least, is just a way to obtain the dopamine rush.

Ultimately, the downfall is when it leads to poor impulse control and someone finds it impossible to resist certain behaviours. Instances of “It was just one more drink….” or relationships plagued by an incessant wave of infidelities rationalised as “just sexual banter” can lead to chronic problems in maintaining self-control that ends up costing someone dearly. Not only is there an impact to oneself in increases in stress, anxiety and depression and poor sleep quality, there is also collateral damage experienced in disruptions to personal relationships or in strained or dysfunctional family dynamics.

When To Get Help

If poor impulse control is something you recognise in yourself or in someone close, get help. There is work that can be done around identifying triggers and changing patterns in thinking, feeling and behaviour. Find a therapist you can talk to and one you feel you can work well with. Therapy can help improve levels of self-control and support someone in developing healthier coping strategies.

 

Photo (social media) by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

Photo (heart) by Marah Bashir on Unsplash