Sex is a normal human experience and is generally embraced and encouraged by society. These days is an area fully encouraged by the media and society to the point that sex is seemingly used to sell just about anything. So if it is so normalised and has an established place in modern society, how does it become a problem for someone and when is it ‘too much’? As with anything, when something crosses boundaries from being something within manageable control and into the realms of something that is disruptive and potentially destructive to us and those around us, it may be considered an addiction.
So Does Sex Addiction Exist?
Sex addiction is actually nothing new. The terminology may be new but the concept of being controlled by sexual urges and desires isn’t new at all. The digital age may have contributed to it being more prolific though in that numerous dating apps, online dating sites, hookup sites and free porn mean that generally sex is just a few clicks away. Cyber-sex can also be said to have increased as a result and “sexting” is now a thing too. In our technological age, we are now more connected than ever to each other and we are more exposed to a variety of quicker and easier ways of fulfilling sexual desires.
The term sex addiction is still quite controversial though and the debate continues about whether sex obsession can be classed as an addiction. The debate can often be complicated by differing morals, values or religious and cultural biases and what constitutes a sex addiction is hard to quantify or classify. However it is named though, if it is disruptive and has begin to interfere in daily activities, it is an issue. If you are looking for psychotherapy for sex addiction, you will be able to work with your individual therapist to understand what is going on for you and why.
It doesn’t just exist in the male population either. While it may be mostly men reporting sex addictions, it is not something limited to the males of the species. There may be many reasons as to why this is including the perception that it is more “acceptable” for a man to have a sex addiction. Mistakenly, a man with a sex addiction may be rewarded with a certain ‘kudos’. He may be revered or envied about how much sex he may get whereas a woman may be more inclined to hide her sex addiction as something to be ashamed of.
The Difference Between a High Sex Drive and Sex Addiction
It’s important to note the differences between having a high sex drive and a sex addiction. Your therapist won’t have a moral stance on your situation but will seek to understand how it is affecting you. You may find that you’ve got stuck in a cycle of destructive ways of relating to others and in therapy you’ll be able to work on where things may have gone awry.
How Can Psychotherapy Help With Sex Addiction?
The World Health Organisation considers compulsive sexual behaviour as a mental health condition. Psychotherapy for sex addiction is not about abstention or learning to live without, as may be the case with other addictions, but more concerned with establishing achievable and realistic goals for you. As a talking therapy, psychotherapy can support you in improving your mental health. If you feel you are more of a slave to your sexual urges than in control of them, psychotherapy can support you in regaining a sex life that is enjoyable, healthy and fits with your values.
If you feel your sex life isn’t how you want it to be get in touch to find out more about how therapy can help.