My writing process has always been slow and deliberate. It takes time to find that elusive “writing zone”, and it usually arrives late at night between 10 p.m. and 1 a.m., a time when life finally quietens but ideas wake up and common sense about reasonable bedtimes is thrown out the window (it’s currently just gone 9pm). Balancing this with work, rest and everyday life has been no small feat.

Finding Space and Structure

Blogging offered a solution: a way to carve out small, bounded chunks of time where I could sit down, focus, and complete something. Or at least, that was the plan — before the inevitable email checks and ‘just one more cup of tea’ intervened. It allowed me to find form, to get words on the page, and to move on to the next piece.

And it worked — perhaps a little too well. The blog went quiet for a while and you could practically see the tumbleweed roll across the blog page as I poured all that creative focus into a much bigger project.

Today, I’m deeply proud to share that I’ve completed the first draft of my first book.

The Process of Writing

Writing this book has been more than an achievement; it has been a process of self-reflection and structure. I’ve spent many nights with a playlist in the background (‘Late Night Feels’ — my self-appointed ‘banging’ playlist — was actually built around one single song my bestie sent during a ‘let’s-avoid-work-by-sharing-music’ exchange.), yet another tea beside me, laptop open – sometimes writing fluidly, sometimes getting stuck, but always returning to the page.

There’s something grounding about it — those moments when thoughts start to settle and meaning begins to take shape. It’s similar to how ideas can clarify themselves in a morning shower or a quiet walk: the mind slows, fragments align, and understanding emerges.

As I explored in The Value of Downtime, sometimes it’s in those moments of stillness that creativity finds its flow. For me, writing has become a form of anchoring — a way to bring together thoughts and emotions, to see patterns, to find words for what was previously unspoken. The result has often been relief, clarity and a quiet sense of confidence.

A Labour of Love

This first book has been a true labour of love and one of the most cathartic experiences I’ve ever had. Whether or not it is ever published feels almost secondary (though my inner perfectionist still needs a little convincing on that); the act of creating it has been meaningful in itself.

That said, I am already at work on a second book — one I hope will make its way into the world. But before that, I wanted to pause and honour this process, and the creative part of me that simply loves doing this.

As I reflected in What Do We Mean by “The Self” in Psychotherapy?, there is something profoundly integrative about aligning different parts of ourselves — the thinking, feeling and creative selves — into one coherent whole. Writing has been one of the most effective ways I’ve found to do that.

An Invitation to Reflect

If you’ve been holding back on a creative project or something that’s calling to you, it might be worth asking:

• When is my “zone” of focus or flow?

• What conditions help me to engage with something meaningful without the rest of life unravelling around it?

The start of something new can bring up uncertainty, but it can also carry enormous potential — as I discussed in New Year, Fresh Start: How Reflection Fuels Personal Growth. Creativity, like self-reflection, is a process of returning to ourselves with renewed perspective.

Back in the Room

After this long and wonderful detour, I’m back here — ready to write, reflect, and reconnect. Possibly at slightly more reasonable hours — though I’m not promising anything. In fact, that small detail will go entirely unnoticed as I schedule this to appear on Monday morning rather than late on a Friday night, as I’m writing it now.

Just as therapy can offer a space to find structure, meaning and connection, writing has offered me the same. My own therapeutic writing journey. I hope to bring that energy back into this blog — a space for shared reflection, curiosity and creative growth.

The post Returning to the Page: Creativity, Structure and My Writing Journey appeared first on Southdowns Psychotherapy.

There are moments in mothering – often small, subtle ones – when something rises up in me with a quiet but unmistakable clarity. A situation will unfold, maybe something others would see as perfectly fine, and deep inside, something whispers: No. Not that. Not for my child.

And yet, when I try to explain why, it rarely fits into a neat rationale. It’s not always about clear risk or harm. Often, it’s something more ambiguous. A tone. A dynamic. A feeling. Something that can’t be quantified, but feels off all the same.

Why Logic Isn’t Always Enough

I’ve found myself, at times, wishing I could lay out my reasoning like a spreadsheet – pros and cons, measurable impact, clean logic. But instinct doesn’t work that way. Motherhood doesn’t work that way. And my decision-making, especially when it comes to protecting my children, often comes from a space deeper than logic.

There have been times where I’ve said no to things that others thought were perfectly fine. A message that was given, an invite somewhere, a tone of voice used by an adult. To them, it was nothing. To me, it was something. Not because I thought my child was fragile or couldn’t cope, but because I felt something I didn’t want them to simply absorb without question. A subtle belittling. A distorted value. A quiet compromise. Something unjust, not on the surface perhaps, but under it.

Teaching the Value of Inner Knowing

My goal isn’t to shield my child from every discomfort or complexity life will bring. That wouldn’t be possible or healthy. But I am trying to model something else: how to honour that internal nudge, or at least question the complexities something can bring, that sense that something isn’t quite right, even if it’s only me pausing.

So often, we’re taught to override our instincts in favour of fitting in, avoiding conflict, or “not making a fuss.” But the cost of that is significant. It disconnects us from ourselves. The earlier a child learns that their feelings are valid – even if they can’t articulate them clearly – the more resilient and self-aware they become.

Saying No with Intention

When I say no as a mother, it’s not always about the immediate thing in front of us. I’m responding to the message behind it, and the meaning it might hold for my child. What values are being transmitted? What beliefs might be absorbed? I’m hoping that in my saying no, or at least expressing my thoughts behind something, they learn that they are also allowed to trust their own sense of things. That it’s okay to walk away from something everyone else is fine with. That feeling uncomfortable is a reason, even if they can’t articulate why just yet.

And in sharing another perspective on matters and by saying I don’t like something, I hope I’m passing on something quietly powerful: that their inner world matters. That they doesn’t have to have a spreadsheet of evidence to justify discomfort. That their “no” is enough.

I know too well what happens when we override those inner signals. I know what it’s like to sense something’s off, but to look around and see that everyone else seems fine with it – and to silence yourself in the process. So often, it’s not the big violations that disconnect us from ourselves – it’s the subtle ones. The moments we were told we “had changed” or “didn’t get it” when something in us whispered, No, this doesn’t feel okay.

Maternal instinct doesn’t follow a formula. It can’t always be evidenced or measured. But I trust it. Not blindly, but deeply. Because it’s shaped by both my wounds and my wisdom.

And that inner “no,” however inconvenient it may be, might just be the most honest part of me.

TA Reflections: Trusting the Nurturing Parent

In Transactional Analysis, we talk about the Parent ego state – the part of us that holds rules, values, and beliefs we’ve absorbed from relevant authority figures or society during our upbringing. When we’re parenting our own children, this part of us becomes especially active. We often find ourselves repeating patterns from our own upbringing – sometimes with intention, sometimes unconsciously.

But there’s also the Nurturing Parent, the part that protects, comforts, and creates safety. And this instinctive protective edge, the one that says no, often emerges from this place. It’s not about control or fear – it’s about attunement. Listening closely to what feels right or wrong on a deeper level.

TA also invites us to balance this with the Adult ego state – the grounded, rational part that helps us assess the current reality. When these two work together, our parenting becomes both intuitive and thoughtful. It’s not reactive – it’s responsive.

Saying no, then, is an act of love. Not just protection from the outside world, but protection of a child’s internal compass – so it stays intact and trusted as they grow.

Looking for a Space to Explore Your Own Inner Compass?

If you’ve ever found yourself second-guessing your instincts, feeling emotionally stretched, or wanting to reconnect with your inner knowing – you’re not alone.

I offer a warm, grounded space for personal psychotherapy, where we can explore the parts of you that feel unheard, conflicted, or simply in need of deeper reflection.

Feel free to get in touch if you’re curious or considering support. I’d be glad to speak with you.

The post Maternal Instincts Don’t Fit Into a Spreadsheet appeared first on Southdowns Psychotherapy.

This morning the Happiful magazine newsletter landed in my inbox and the title of the newsletter was “It’s OK to look for hope”. It was a pertinent reminder for me to read today on a day when it has not always been easy to take a reflective standpoint and know that even when things aren’t going the way you want them to be, it’s ok to still look for hope.

The Role of Hope in Personal Growth

Hope is a curious thing. It doesn’t demand perfection or certainty; rather, it invites us to hold space for possibility. Often, in moments of difficulty or despair, the idea of hoping can feel almost naïve or even futile. Yet, hope is not about ignoring the challenges we face or pretending everything is fine. It’s about recognising that even amid the struggles, there remains potential for change, growth, and healing.

Transactional Analysis: Understanding the Power of Hope

In psychotherapy, and particularly in Transactional Analysis (TA), hope can be seen as a fundamental part of the journey toward change. TA recognises that we all hold within us the capacity for growth, healing, and creating a new story for ourselves—this is often referred to as the concept of autonomy. Autonomy in TA involves regaining access to three vital human capacities: awareness, spontaneity, and the ability to choose. Hope, in this sense, isn’t a denial of the now; it’s an act of self-compassion and resilience. It reminds us that while we can’t always control the outcomes, we can nurture a mindset that leaves room for the possibility of brighter days.

Breaking Free from Limiting Scripts

TA also explores how past experiences, particularly those formed in early life, can shape the way we approach hope today. Through patterns known as scripts, we develop unconscious narratives about who we are and what we can expect from the world. Sometimes, these scripts might include messages that discourage us from holding onto hope—for example, beliefs like, “Things never work out for me” or “It’s pointless to try.”

Reconnecting with Your Inner Child’s Capacity for Hope

However, TA provides a framework for identifying and challenging these limiting scripts. Through a compassionate and collaborative process, we can begin to rewrite them, allowing ourselves to connect with the hopeful parts of our inner Child state—the part of us that naturally dreams, imagines, and believes in possibilities.

Choosing Hope: A Step Toward Autonomy

Hope, therefore, isn’t just an abstract idea in TA; it’s a practice rooted in self-awareness and choice. It’s about recognising that even if your past has shaped you, it doesn’t have to define your future. If you’re finding it hard to hold onto hope today, remember that it’s OK to take small steps. Hope doesn’t have to look grand or transformative—it can be as simple as reaching out to a friend, taking a walk, or pausing to reflect on what’s within your control.

When considering what title I would give to my own blog post I considered various options. Did ‘Nurturing Hope: A Journey Through Reflection and Transactional Analysis’ fit for me? Or was ‘Finding Hope: Rewriting Your Story with Transactional Analysis’ better? I finally settled on something more concise and direct. Sometimes hope really is a process of believing in oneself, ones abilities and ultimately, holding on to the small and basic steps that are more than possible.

Small Steps to Embrace Hope in Everyday Life

Finding hope is not about diminishing the struggles you face. It’s about giving yourself permission to believe that things can and will shift, one moment at a time. And that’s more than OK—it’s brave.

If you would like to find out more about how TA can support you to find hope and make changes, get in touch to arrange an assessment session today.

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Reflecting on Past Goals

The New Year is the time I look at what I had as 2024 resolutions, what I managed to achieve and what was not quite achieved but is still worth rolling onto this year’s list as a continued goal. 2024 was a year of significant achievements as well as significant losses. The highs were interspersed with the lows. Moments of heart-break met moments of heart-swelling fullness. Endings balanced new beginnings and all-important renewed beginnings carry the prospect of hope and love into 2025. Relationships changed and evolved and the ebb and flow of love brought life lessons both beautiful and harsh. Fortunately for me, there will already be 2025 iterations of some vital relationships to look forward to.

The Psychotherapy Perspective

From a psychotherapeutic perspective, reflection is a vital part of personal development. When we take time to thoughtfully consider our New Year’s resolutions, we’re not just setting goals; we’re engaging in a process of self-awareness. While it might be something I recommend to clients, it is also something I also try to really embrace myself. In many ways, talking about renewed plans with clients is a way of reminding myself that it is also important to me on a personal level as I also try to set intentions and reconnect with ensuring that I am also living the life I want to live.

Questions Worth Asking

Questions I am currently reflecting on include: What do I truly want to change? What values do I want to align with more closely in the coming year? What maladaptive patterns do I really need and want to leave behind? I am taking time to consider how the things I choose to do this year, and the people I choose to spend my time with, can better align with my core values. This kind of intentional reflection can lay the groundwork for meaningful, sustainable change.

The Power of a Fresh Start

The New Year’s significance lies not in its arbitrary placement in the calendar but in the transformative power of the fresh start. Thinking about transformation can feel inspiring and motivating and the symbolic fresh start of 1^st January provides a natural pause point. We can take a moment to look back on the year gone by and consider what we want to carry forward—and what, more significantly, we don’t.

Flexibility in Resolutions

However, it’s important to remember that resolutions don’t need to be rigid or perfect. Life is dynamic, and so are we. The goals we set at the start of the year can evolve as we gain new insights and face unforeseen challenges. What matters most is our commitment to growth and our willingness to revisit our goals regularly, making adjustments as needed.

Whether it’s the New Year or a July tweaking of goals, taking time to reflect on where we are and where we want to go is always valuable. But there’s something particularly powerful about marking the New Year as a moment of intention. It’s a way to honour our capacity for change, to recognise the chapters we’ve closed, and to celebrate the ones we’re beginning to write.

If you’re contemplating your own resolutions this year, make use a healthy dose of curiosity and compassion. Use this time to plant seeds for the future, knowing that growth is an ongoing journey—one that you can recommit to at any time.

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Having come to the end of another academic year, downtime in the summer holidays as a parent is an intriguing concept at best. How is it possible to incorporate downtime during those weeks when we feel like we have even more to do with children also around? Routines are up-ended in the summer holidays, children are doing different things at different times and the work-downtime balance is really thrown. Then, just as we think we’ve succeeded in juggling the work-downtime balancing act, they go back to school and we’re thrown into something different again.

Having recently spent a few nights alone in the beauty of the New Forest surrounded by free-roaming ponies, donkeys and cows, I am speaking from a place of just reconnecting with my own downtime. I really do believe there is so much to gain from scheduling in that bit of ‘me time’ on a regular basis.

So how can we recharge our batteries, reconnect with ourselves, and appreciate that in these modern times, we lead busier lives than ever?

The Importance of Recharging

Mental Health Benefits

Downtime allows our minds to rest. Just as our bodies need sleep to function optimally, our brains require periods of rest to process information, consolidate memories, and rejuvenate. Chronic stress and continuous engagement can lead to burnout, anxiety, and depression. By scheduling regular breaks and downtime, we give our brains a chance to recover and maintain mental health.

Emotional Balance

Constant busyness can prevent us from addressing our emotional needs. Downtime provides an opportunity to process feelings and experiences that may have been pushed aside during hectic periods. It can help us gain perspective, understand our emotions better, and foster emotional resilience.

Physical Health

Our bodies benefit significantly from downtime. Chronic stress can lead to various health issues, including high blood pressure, heart disease, and weakened immune function. Taking time to rest and relax helps reduce stress levels, promotes better sleep, and supports overall physical health.

Reconnecting with Ourselves

Self-Reflection

Downtime offers a unique opportunity for self-reflection. When we step away from our busy schedules, we can take a closer look at our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. This self-awareness is crucial for personal growth and can lead to positive changes in our lives.

Rediscovering Passions

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to lose touch with activities and hobbies that bring us joy. Downtime allows us to reconnect with these passions, whether it’s reading, painting, gardening, or simply spending time in nature. Engaging in activities we love can boost our mood and provide a sense of fulfillment.

Strengthening Relationships

Quality time with loved ones often takes a backseat when we’re constantly on the go. Downtime provides an opportunity to nurture our relationships, whether it’s having a meaningful conversation with a friend, enjoying a family dinner, or simply being present with our partner. Strong relationships are a cornerstone of emotional well-being.

Appreciating Our Busy Lives

Perspective and Gratitude

Taking a break from our routines can help us gain a fresh perspective on our lives. It allows us to step back and appreciate the efforts we put into our work, relationships, and personal growth. This sense of gratitude can enhance our overall happiness and satisfaction.

Enhancing Productivity

Ironically, taking regular breaks can make us more productive. When we allow ourselves to rest and recharge, we return to our tasks with renewed energy and focus. This can lead to higher quality work and more efficient use of time.

Preventing Burnout

Burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. It can lead to decreased productivity, feelings of detachment, and even serious health issues. By incorporating downtime into our lives, we can do better at avoiding burnout and maintain a healthier balance between work and rest.

Practical Tips for Incorporating Downtime

Schedule Regular Breaks

Set aside specific times in your day for short breaks. Whether it’s a 10-minute walk, a coffee break, or a quick meditation session, these moments of rest can make a significant difference.

Unplug from Technology

Take regular breaks from screens and digital devices. Engage in activities that don’t involve technology, such as reading a book, taking a walk, or practicing mindfulness.

Prioritise Sleep

Ensure you get enough sleep each night. Good quality sleep is essential for mental and physical health, and it significantly contributes to our ability to recharge and function optimally. If you need any inspiration at all, read Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker. I learned so much from this book about the importance of sleep so it is a solid recommendation!

Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

Incorporate mindfulness practices, such as meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga, into your routine. These techniques can help reduce stress and promote relaxation.

Engage in Physical Activity

Regular physical activity is a great way to recharge and reduce stress. Find an exercise routine that you enjoy. Do you enjoy a walk or perhaps a bit of swimming? Maybe it’s a regular boogie in the kitchen (don’t knock the kitchen disco) or maybe football or tennis is your thing.

Spend Time in Nature

Nature has a calming effect on our minds and bodies. Spend time outdoors, whether it’s a walk in the park, a hike in the woods, or simply sitting in your garden. Nature can help us feel more grounded and connected. Go camping in a place with bad reception. After the initial couple of minutes mild panic about how you could possibly live without being constantly ‘connected’, you’ll be amazed at what a relief it actually is….

So what next?

The value of downtime is immense. It allows us to recharge our batteries, reconnect with ourselves, and appreciate the busy lives we lead. By prioritising rest and relaxation, we can maintain better mental, emotional, and physical health. As we navigate our hectic world, let’s remember the importance of slowing down and giving ourselves the gift of downtime. If you want to avoid burnout, reconnect with those forgotten but valued parts of your self and increase self-awareness you can also get in touch to find out more about therapy sessions.

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What is Mental Strength?

Mental strength, or mental resilience is the emotional ability of being able to recover from adversity.

• Mentally resilient people often transcend hard times despite seemingly impossible setbacks.
• Mental resilience is correlated with emotional maturity and the ability to see reality clearly.
• Mental resilience is negatively correlated with psychopathology and emotional immaturity.

Promoting Mental Strength

Just like sculpting those biceps at the gym, mental strength demands discipline, commitment, and time.  Let’s take look at the habits of mentally strong people:

1. They Don’t Compare Themselves With Others Scrolling through social media can trigger the comparison game, but mentally strong people know that every moment spent comparing is a moment lost on personal growth. External opinions don’t define them. Mentally strong people build their self-belief, immune to criticism or rejection.

2. They Don’t Strive for Perfection Perfectionism, the sneaky stress inducer, is a no-go zone. Set high standards, but don’t let the pursuit of perfection impair your performance because just like Father Christmas, it doesn’t exist.

3. They Embrace Vulnerability Game faces have their time and place, but mentally strong people recognise that asking for help and showing vulnerability are signs of strength, not weakness.

4. They Don’t Let Self-Doubt Stop Them Your brain might whisper doubts, but mentally strong women don’t let self-doubt be the roadblock to their goals. They know the brain tends to underestimate their capabilities.

5. Ditch Rumination Ruminating over every detail is a mental energy drain. Instead, focus on problem-solving and productive action, freeing up your mind for what truly matters.

6. Putting the Big Girl Pants On Avoiding challenges keeps you stuck. Mentally strong people face fears head-on, one step at a time, building confidence along the way. Whether someone told you that you’d never amount to anything, or you got turned down for a promotion, other people can limit your potential if you let them. Your brain might sometimes try to convince you that you’re not good enough, capable enough, or smart enough. But don’t believe everything you think. Your brain will underestimate you. Build belief in yourself, and you won’t let criticism or rejection stop you.

7. Find The Strength Within Strong people find ways to pull on inner strength to build themselves up. They have no need to pull others down in order to achieve this. Genuine cheerleading is the true path to success. Putting others down is a short-lived boost; uplifting others creates a lasting impact.

8. Take Responsibility For yourself. Accepting responsibility is crucial, but toxic self-blame hinders progress. Learn from mistakes and grow, without labelling yourself negatively. While it’s important to accept personal responsibility when you make a mistake, toxic self-blame does more harm than good so it’s also wise to avoid it. Saying “I made a bad choice” is much more productive than thinking “I am a bad person.”

9. Sing Your Own Praises No need to downplay achievements. Mentally strong people gracefully accept compliments, owning their success without fear of appearing arrogant.

Image by gibbysocks from Pixabay

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Berne believed that there are three ego states in everyone and that together they constitute our individual personalities.

Ego States

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Dopamine is one of the brain’s “feel good” neurotransmitters. It induces feelings of excitement, motivation, aliveness and gratification. When we engage in certain behaviours, dopamine is released from where it is produced in the brain and enters our bloodstream to give us a feeling of satisfaction and reward.

Why Do We Need It?

From an evolutionary perspective, a release of dopamine is what incentivises us to do the things that are good for our survival, like eating, drinking and reproducing. Human beings are hard-wired to be reward-seeking and a healthy level of dopamine makes us feel happy, focused, alert and motivated.

‘Dopamining’

It may be a word right out of an urban dictionary, but the concept of “dopamining” is being increasingly used to describe the thrill of doing things that lead to a release of dopamine.

So Is Dopamine Addictive?

Dopamine itself is not addictive, but the feeling we get when we experience a flood of dopamine lights up the reward centres of the brain and compels us to want it more. The strong memory of the pleasure we felt as a result of a dopamine release is what we are focusing on and what we continue to seek.

Excessive repeated releases of dopamine can also over-stimulate our brain. In small doses this isn’t unhealthy, but arguably, some of the reward-seeking behaviours are what can be define as unhealthy and this is where things get complex.

Our iPhones for example, are like mini dopamine factories – pumping out little highs with each pick up. Modern phones have been designed with reward-seeking behaviour in mind and you just have to watch The Social Dilemma on Netflix to understand the magnitude of the problem. While it is not the phone itself that is addictive, the plethora of social media sites and apps is what has given us a positively endless supply of social stimuli in the thumbs up, likes, happy faces or messages that we receive. And, it’s not just the positive reactions we seek, it may be the negative reactions too. It can rapidly become a case of posting anything, even posting those things we know are just ideal to set us up for an online roasting because all we’re after is a response. Neuroscientists have shown that these positive and negative social stimuli activate the same neural reward pathways in the brain as a hit of cocaine would give us.

Being ‘addicted to your phone’ is just one example of how this can work. Other activities such as playing video games, drinking alcohol or infidelity can all behaviours that are based on this same reward system.

Where It Can Go Wrong

Regularly chasing a dopamine high off the back of an unhealthy behaviour can have serious implications for many areas of our life. Studies have shown there is a link between dopamine and compulsive behaviours and at an extreme level, continued and excessive dopamine hits can result in damage to the brain. Brain pathways are altered and the brain gets used to a new level of dopamine tolerance meaning that we are less sensitive to its impact. As we no longer get the same high, we may be compelled to seek increasingly unhealthy behaviours to achieve the same feeling. In the instance of alcohol use, this may look like drinking more and more. Even low dose alcohol is known to increase the release of dopamine.

In the case of infidelity, the brain’s self-control centre short-circuits and you may someone escalate from emotionally cheating to repeated infidelities or even engaging in risky sexual deviances. The thrill of the chase can be so intense it can sometimes look like a sex addiction (but that’s another blog post altogether). It’s not the sex that someone is addicted to though, it’s the dopamine release they are seeking and the sexual activity, or the chase at least, is just a way to obtain the dopamine rush.

Ultimately, the downfall is when it leads to poor impulse control and someone finds it impossible to resist certain behaviours. Instances of “It was just one more drink….” or relationships plagued by an incessant wave of infidelities rationalised as “just sexual banter” can lead to chronic problems in maintaining self-control that ends up costing someone dearly. Not only is there an impact to oneself in increases in stress, anxiety and depression and poor sleep quality, there is also collateral damage experienced in disruptions to personal relationships or in strained or dysfunctional family dynamics.

When To Get Help

If poor impulse control is something you recognise in yourself or in someone close, get help. There is work that can be done around identifying triggers and changing patterns in thinking, feeling and behaviour. Find a therapist you can talk to and one you feel you can work well with. Therapy can help improve levels of self-control and support someone in developing healthier coping strategies.

Photo (social media) by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

Photo (heart) by Marah Bashir on Unsplash

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Mindfulness and Psychotherapy have a huge amount in common and when combined, the therapeutic benefits can be very powerful.

So what exactly is Mindfulness and how can it help with psychotherapy sessions?

Mindfulness, in my opinion, is no longer a new buzzword. It’s not a dazzling new “thing to do” but a powerful activity and way of life that is, to some extent, familiar to many. Whether you practice already, have flirted with the odd meditation here and there or have just heard it but not yet looked in to it, the concept of Mindfulness has reached quite far.

For those of us who have heard of it but not yet looked in to what it may involve or how it can help us, a common question is “Mindfulness? That’s about meditation right?”. And yes, those people would be correct. There may be meditative elements to Mindfulness BUT it is so much more…….

In this blog post I shall attempt to offer my view of what Mindfulness is to me and how I believe it can complement your psychotherapy sessions.

Mindfulness: More Than A Good Idea

Imagine there was a pill you could take on a daily basis to improve your concentration, increase your awareness, improve your outlook on personal relationships and reduce your general levels of stress.

You’d take it right?

If it was this simple then it seems like a no-brainer. While this may seem like wishful thinking, the practice of Mindfulness really is as simple as doing something on a regular basis. It is a way of strengthening parts of our brain in such an incremental and beneficial way. There is scientific evidence to prove that the act of controlled breathing learned through Mindfulness has a neurophysiological effect. As read in Medical News Today, even 25 minutes of Mindfulness can improve brain function and boost energy levels.

So what else can Mindfulness help with?

All too often we may get in the car to go do our usual food shop on a Thursday morning, arrive at the supermarket and not really have any strong memories about the drive we’ve just done. How many times can we say we’re not paying attention? For many people this is pretty standard and happens a lot. But in doing so we are missing out on being in the moment. We are missing out on noticing and being curious to ourselves and our world around us. We are not acknowledging the annoyance at stubbing our toe and we are inadvertently carrying that annoyance with us til we get a chance to blurt it out at another time. Acting mindfully supports us to recognise at the moment of stubbing our toe we are annoyed and to pay attention and notice that has happened. This seemingly simple act of noticing on a regular basis will support brain function and strengthen neurological pathways.

A straightforward way to explain how Mindfulness can help us is to say that it is a fundamental life skill and involves the human ability to be fully present. It helps us to be more aware of where we are, what we are doing and supports us to be able to respond appropriately at any given moment. It is a skill that helps us to see that getting really annoyed after we stub our toe does not then make it ok to take our annoyance out on the next person we speak to. Mindfulness supports us to react appropriately to the next person we speak to and to notice that we are also annoyed that we stubbed our toe. The ability to separate experiences, emotions and to react in an appropriate way on a moment to moment basis is an amazing life skill.

Mindfulness and Curiosity

When we practice mindfulness we bring a sense of curiosity to our experience as it unfolds, moment by moment. We observe and pay attention to what is happening in our minds and bodies, becoming more present and available to ourselves and to others. We are also bringing all parts of our brain together in an integrated way that promotes and facilitates positive well being.

In this way, Mindfulness and Psychotherapy are inextricably linked.

Mindfulness and Psychotherapy

In psychotherapy a person has the chance to make sense of what is going on for them. Mindfulness trains our brain to be more aware of what is going on around us. When we have an increased capacity to be more present, we worry less about the past and are less anxious about the future. Mindfulness teaches us to be curious about the present and to be compassionate and warm towards it. The process of cultivating moment to moment awareness has such amazing restorative benefits. It is proven to help with many psychological difficulties such as depress, anxiety, stress, substance-abuse etc. The curative process transcends diagnosis and is a key component of successful psychotherapy.

Mindfulness is becoming recognised as a powerful tool in psychotherapy, and there are a growing number of therapists who are trained in both modalities. “Mindfulness-Based Transactional Analysis” also known as MBTA, is one such area of growth. MBTA is an approach that takes into account Mindfulness meditations with the theoretical concepts of Transactional Analysis.

Many people are seeing positive results when the two approaches are combined. In as far back as 2007, in a survey of 2,600 therapists, 41.4 percent of respondents reported they were practicing some form of “mindfulness therapy” with their clients.

Within my practice I may often incorporate aspects of Mindfulness. I work with clients to explore options for bringing Mindfulness into daily life outside the therapy room. If you are interested in finding out more get in touch for a chance to talk more about how I work and to find out more about Mindfulness and Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy.

Next week’s blog post focuses on reasons Psychotherapy and Mindfulness work well together.

The post How Mindfulness Can Complement Your Psychotherapy appeared first on Southdowns Psychotherapy.